Hi, my name is Ojus. I am a 32-year-old woman, an IT professional, and someone who has always been dedicated to winning in life. But my journey hasn’t been easy, especially in a male-dominated work culture that made me question my worth as an employee. At one point, I felt so powerless and overwhelmed that I even attempted to end my life. But there was something deep inside me, a tiny spark that refused to be extinguished. That spark kept me going.
This is my story of how I fought back against a system that tried to bring me down and how I found strength within myself to rise above it.
My career started off great. I was moving up the ladder, getting promoted, and achieving my goals. But somewhere along the way, I started feeling like something wasn’t right. I noticed a pattern; an attitude from my male superiors that always seemed to hold me back. It was subtle, but it was always there, like a silent voice that said, “You cannot grow here. You cannot be equal to us. You are a woman, and you can’t stand shoulder to shoulder with us.”
This quiet, persistent pressure began to weigh on me. No matter how hard I worked, I felt like I was being told, “Stay low, or you will be fired.” It was a constant, awkward presence, a kind of male dominance that subtly and steadily chipped away at my confidence. I was great at my job, I had graduated at the top of my class and excelled in every task I was given. Yet, despite my achievements, a nagging feeling grew inside me: “Maybe I’m not made for this.”
Then, I got a new opportunity. I was appointed as a project manager in a reputed company, working with an international client on a communications project. I was thrilled and full of hope. My relationship with the client was strong, and my work was being praised by everyone around. But soon, the challenges of a male-dominated workplace reared their ugly head again.
“All a girl really wants is for one guy to prove to her that they are not all the same.”
– Marilyn Monroe
My immediate boss began to undermine me at every turn. He would criticize my work constantly, telling me I was not doing a good job, that I needed to work longer hours, that I was coming in late, that I wasn’t getting along with other employees, and that I was taking too many breaks; all of which were completely untrue. It felt like he was finding any excuse to belittle me. At first, I thought maybe I was doing something wrong. I tried to change – arriving earlier, taking fewer breaks, and being extra cautious in everything I did.
But nothing seemed to change. Every day, his behavior towards me became colder, more hostile. Other male superiors in the team started to ignore my work, delaying responses to project-related communications, or dismissing my ideas. I began staying late at the office every night, long after everyone else had left, and arriving early each morning. The pressure was immense, and my health began to deteriorate. I was working so hard, yet nothing seemed good enough. I was exhausted and felt like I was drowning in a sea of expectations I could never meet.
I started questioning myself: “Am I really worthy? Am I good enough?” The constant criticism, the shame in meetings where I was always blamed for delays and client complaints, it all took a toll on my mental health. I felt trapped, lost, and deeply depressed. I couldn’t understand why my boss was treating me this way. Was it because I was a woman? Was he under pressure himself, or was he just someone who believed women were inferior?
One day, I reached my breaking point. I felt so worthless, so defeated, that I decided to end my life. I felt there was no way out, that I had no future. I attempted to hang myself. But even in that dark moment, there was a tiny voice inside me that whispered, “You are better than this. You have something inside you that no one else has. You can do things that others cannot.” That little spark of motivation, buried deep within me, refused to be put out by a society that tried to make me feel small. It kept me going.
“You don’t have to play masculine to be a strong woman.”
– Mary Elizabeth Winstead
Despite the overwhelming situation, I decided I would not be defeated by a few men who tried to make me feel insignificant. I resolved to keep doing my best work, to give more than 100% in everything I did. I would not let them see me break. I stayed focused, completed all my tasks ahead of deadlines, and kept proving my value, day in and day out. I reminded myself that not all men are the same; if one male superior was bad, it didn’t mean they all were.
Eventually, my hard work paid off. The client I was working with noticed my dedication and the quality of my work. He was so impressed that, despite the challenges I faced, he offered me a director-level position at his company. It was a male-dominated company too, but he was different – he believed in my abilities and assured me that he would support me. I was hesitant at first, but his faith in me and my own determination convinced me to take the leap.
My salary was doubled, I became a shareholder in the company, and most importantly, I found myself in a workplace where I was valued for who I am. The environment was supportive, and for the first time in a long while, I felt like I was truly flourishing.
This experience taught me three important lessons:
- Never Give Up – No matter how hard it gets, hold onto that tiny spark within you. It’s your strength, and it can guide you through the darkest times.
- No One Can Dominate You Unless You Let Them – Stay strong, stand your ground, and keep proving your worth. Don’t let anyone make you feel inferior.
- Miracles Happen Every Day – Keep looking for better opportunities, and don’t stop believing in yourself. The world might be challenging, but there are always people and places that will value you for who you are.
Yes, discrimination against women exists, but we, as women, have the power to change it. We must support each other, speak up against injustice, and keep pushing forward. Remember, not all men are bad, but if you find yourself in a toxic environment, either try to change it or move on to where you are appreciated.
In my case, I was alone and too shy to talk to others about what I was going through. Don’t make the same mistake I did. Speak out, reach out to your colleagues, friends, and family. Don’t let anyone dominate you or make you feel less than you are.
Thank you to everyone for listening to my story, and a special thanks to Womenself for sharing it with the world. Remember to always be yourself, because you are stronger than you think.
With love,
Ojus.
Ojus.
#BeYourselfMore
